by Kim Fabricius
—Your faith is unreasonable.
—Your reason is unreasonable – and you have such faith in your scepticism.
—So, you’ve had a religious experience?
—What’s that? And what’s it got to do with God?
—The Gospels contain inconsistencies A, B, and C.
—You forgot X, Y, and Z.
—Darwin made the argument from design completely untenable.
—Er, Hume beat him to it.
—Creationists are morons.
—That smart?
—Theodicies are invariably unconvincing.
—Worse than that, they are inherently evil.
—Prayer plainly doesn’t work.
—Thank God!
—Religion is the opium of the people; it’s a crutch.
—Yeah, but science and technology are the crack cocaine; and you don’t limp?
—Who can believe in a God who sends his Son to die to appease his anger?
—Only the seriously disturbed.
—Religion is inherently violent.
—You mean violence is inherently religious.
—Give me one good reason to believe in the existence of God.
—The existence of atheists: the protest kind because they take God seriously, the petulant kind because God doesn’t take them seriously at all. Oh, and more conclusively: cats and baseball.
—You’re a fucking fool!
—Alas, you’re half right.
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