A few things I never could believe

In his delightfully pessimistic song, “Everything Goes To Hell” (2002), Tom Waits sings:

    There’s a few things that I never could believe:
    A woman when she weeps
    A merchant when he swears
    A thief who says he’ll pay
    A lawyer when he cares
    A snake when he is sleeping
    A drunkard when he prays…

So that got me thinking. And here are a few things that I never can believe:

• A telemarketer who wants “just a few moments.”
• A politician who talks about “our way of life.”
• A church which describes itself as “Bible-based.”
• A record company which produces “Christian music.”
• A theologian who uses the word “tolerance.”
• A TV preacher who says “glory to God!”